What is the best way to help someone who has problems

The Vocal Coach work is always exciting and very often, when a student has succeeded in freeing his/her voice, he/she grow a desire to “help others”.

Here we have a sort of Hamlet dilemma because who doesn’t want to help the other ones? All the good hearted people feel the urge to help others, the only issue is that they don’t know how to do it. Before analyzing how, perhaps it is better to make a digression and try to understand where and why this fresh altruistic drive is born.

When someone chooses to work a bit deeper on his/her voice via the Inborn Voice method and my help, within a few weeks he/she realizes that life, as he/she knew it before, no longer exists. Little by little, one step at a time, he/she finally manages to succeed in accomplishing what seemed impossible: he/she manages to communicate to other people. The conscious use of the voice enables the surfacing of his/her feelings, fears and strengths.

This may not sound like much, but in truth it’s all you need to radically change your life, to start awakening. Often people are not aware of their expressive difficulties, they are convinced that are other people who “do not understands. During their lifetime they have learnt, one experience after another, that it is extremely difficult to establish a collaboration or a lasting relationship between people. Over time, they also learnt to stop searching further. At one point they even stop engaging with other people: some choose to “whine” about everything, others prefer to suffer in silence.

As I have explained in my book, The Way of the Voice, many of the people dissatisfied with their state of affairs become entangled in what I call dream-like disciplines and become part of homogeneous “groups” of people who are persuaded that it is possible to find a “cure”, a solution outside of oneself, by doing or sharing something within a small group. A group is certainly what they are looking for, but instead of building one suitable for their own life realization, they enter a pre-packaged one. Other people, perhaps luckier, realize that the solution must be sought inside us, in our depth, and try to learn a discipline that may help them with their introspection. 

Although not everyone knows it, my job as Vocal Coach is a bit like that. The human voice, the real one, our Inborn Voice, is coming from the innermost depths of our soul. When I manage to make their voice bloom again, people discover what they were looking for had always been under their noses, namely “the mouth”, the voice. And their life changes. It changes because where before they were rejected, now they find an affirmation. Where before a quarrel originated, now serenity is built. Where doors were closed, now they can see an already open door in plain sight. Depending on the determination and the person, the results can be more or less striking, as you can watch from the video testimonials that I have on my site.

I am extremely happy when someone, as a result of my work, stops believing that there are no longer hopes of improving their working, sentimental or social lives. And I’m even happier when they decide to share their “finding” among people, actually helping other individuals.

This is where confusion sometimes arises. For whatever reason, someone who has discovered the benefits of my work, a new and effective voice, chooses not to share my work with others. He/She hides me as a precious thing, he/she doesn’t want people to know what made their lives blossom. Yet still they seek from me advices on how they can help others by themselves. The answer I always give them is simple. What were the consequences of choosing to hide their voice, their feelings and their expectations? Just suffering and unsatisfactory life. By suppressing the joy of shouting to the world “it is possible to improve one’s working life”, “it is possible to have satisfactory romantic relationships” or “it is possible to improve one’s social life”, nothing good will be achieved. The easiest way to share with other people your achievements is what I have already taught them, thanks to my work as a vocal coach. Just tell the others “Listen, I was like you before, then I discovered my voice thanks to Mylena Vocal Coach and my life is now the one you are looking at”. It will then be the others to decide if and how to contact me to start a journey together. The idea of wanting to help them personally is something worthwhile, but very few people ask me how to become a vocal coach for the Inborn Voice method.

This happens not only as a result of my work, but in all disciplines that somehow move the balance of things and cause a person to feel the desire to shout to the world that, after so much suffering, they have finally found a solution. The mistake is not desiring to help others actively, in the first person, but to think that all others have the same problem or that our solution is universal. Each of my clients sees only a small number of facets of my work as a Vocal Coach, the ones that were most useful to them. They can’t understand that in reality my work is more complex than assigning some exercises. Every exercise was been built around their issues. 100 different clients will have 100 different exercises. When they find this out, very few people are willing to ” learn ” such a broad topic over so many years. 

So the best way to help a person is to share with them the idea that it is possible to change, that you have succeeded with the work of a specific expert. If you have a dishwasher that doesn’t work, you call a technician. If you meet someone who complains about the malfunction of their dishwasher, what do you do? Are you going to take it apart or do you recommend who solved our problem?