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When is it best to stay silent and when is it best to speak?

When is it best to stay silent and when is it best to speak?

The human being has been granted the incredible super power of free will, that is, he/she can always choose between a number of possibilities to act. As always, great power carries great responsibilities. 

One of the daily decisions that people make all the time is whether to speak or remain silent. Clearly, when one decides to speak, then one must also decide what to say, when one decides to be silent, then one must also willingly accept all the implications.

This topic is so important that practically all the greatest thinkers have been attributed some aphorism about it. For example, Oscar Wilde was famous for his “Sometimes it’s better to be silent and look stupid than to open your mouth and remove any doubt“, Blaise Pascal for his “In love a silence is worth more than a speech“, but my favorite is Jean Paul Sartre’s “Every word has consequences. Every silence as well.

In my thirty years of Vocal Coach experience I have helped people who were basically silent give voice to their emotions and people who were a little too chatty to listen to their emotions. In my book The Way of the Voice I frequently mention Silence: if you stop to listen to it properly, it’s anything but lacking in interest or musicality. So true is when Miles Davis used to say “The real music is silence. All the notes just frame it“.

So how do you understand when it’s best to be silent and when it’s necessary to talk, for unpleasant that these two situations can be?

Those who know me are well aware that there can be no “standard” answers, which are good for everyone, but I can reassure you: there is a simple marker that can help you to understand what choice should be made. Since in verbal communication, as in all other human relationships, there is rarely a second opportunity to speak, explain or express oneself. It is therefore essential to learn this subtle “art” a little at a time, also thanks to my support as a Vocal Coach. 

This miraculous marker that can help you in this Hamlet decision is yourself and your Inborn Voice. Saying that seems so simple, but in reality only we can know, instinctively and unconsciously, why we choose whether to speak or not. The motivations provided by our logic may be the most disparate, but I am referring to motivations that respond to a different state of consciousness, namely they come from emotions. Sometimes we speak only to clarify a thought to ourselves, others to fill the silence. Sometimes you are silent because you fear the consequences of the spoken words, others to savor the intensity of a moment.

As I said before, whatever the choice, there will be consequences. And even if our logical side doesn’t care about the consequences, they will happen anyway and will influence the emotional side. 

Most of the people I help have an impairment of their capacity to communicate their thoughts to others because they fear a negative emotion related to a specific type of consequence. Yet if we remain silent or fill the silence with circumstantial phrases or speeches for nothing, other consequences will fall into our lives. There is no way of knowing if the consequences of one choice will be worse than the other. 

For example, if you choose to speak, perhaps to convince a loved one of your idea, you risk to crack your relationship forever. If you choose to be silent to avoid breaking the relationship, you risk keeping something inside that will gradually consume you from within. No choice is simple, you have to learn to listen to yourself and your inner silence to be able to make the best one. In fact, not all evils come to harm, sometimes the most feared consequences are precisely those that can make a change in your existence.

So, ultimately, the best advice I can give you is to be selfish and to choose thinking with your own mind and listening to your own Inborn Voice.

What does speaking the truth really mean?

What does speaking the truth really mean?

To speak truthfully is just as simple as it is complicated. Of course, small children are sincere, at least until they are taught how to lie. In The Way of the Voice, I have deeply discussed what I mean by “lying,” so I invite you to deepen the subject by reading my book.

In this scenario it is a good idea to investigate the meaning of “being truthful”, in fact it is often taken for granted what it actually means. It doesn’t mean other than “entirely pure”, or “entirely without any mixing”. We are expressing the idea of something that is all composed of the same essence. For example, a vanilla ice cream is “truthful”, a variegated one with black cherry is not, because in addition to the vanilla ice cream it also contains black cherry syrup.

So to speak the truth, in some way, does not imply at all to “tell the truth”. That means you can lie, you do not have to speak “from the heart”, it does not require any authenticity or any compassion. These are all fantasies, limited and incomplete visions of a much more complex reality.

To speak the truth it is only required to have a clear idea of what to say and to have the ability to communicate it without anything else interfering with the message.

In my over thirty years of experience as a Vocal Coach, I increasingly meet people and students who rely exclusively on manuals and books, without even considering the existence or the necessity of practical experience. This is exactly what I teach to actors in my masterclasses in Los Angeles, New York and Milan: to “act” an emotion you have to be truthful. Feeling an emotion, provided you are able to feel it, is not enough. You have to be able to convey only that emotion. If you add something else to that emotion, such as worries, anxiety, blackouts or whatever, you can never be truthful.

This is why we need the help of a vocal coach. Although other disciplines may teach us to control our emotions, only a skilled vocal coach, not just any coach, can teach us to recognize which and how many emotions we convey when we communicate.

Without specific training on your own voice it is really difficult to be objective and recognize when you are “lying” to yourself. If you learn to control your voice, if you are able to be truthful, even if you are just a normal person, a politician, a trader, a broker or anything else, you will be a leader.

My job is to help people find their own inborn voice, which is the only truly “truthful” voice within each of us.

3 Main reasons why you should train your voice

3 Main reasons why you should train your voice

Before understanding what are the main benefits that can be achieved training your voice with the Inborn Voice method, it is good to clarify what Mylena Vocal Coach is, as she’s not an ordinary Vocal Coach.

Her work is closely related to emotional intelligence, through the deep connection between voice and soul. Helping people to express, to accomplish through the voice, their “inner world”, therefore their emotions, their expectations, their talents, and their skills, in the “reality”.

Mylena is able to successfully solve any vocal or communication problem in a glimpse: that’s why she well-deserved to be renowned as “Voice Guru” all over the world.  Her key ability is to inspire anyone to speak up, to give voice to their ideas, bringing to the surface their own hidden charisma.

Clearly, she’s also a traditional Vocal Coach that deals with phonation, diction, enunciation, locution, tonality, communication and all the “old fashioned” way of teaching how to use the voice. 

The Inborn Voice method and Mylena Vocal Coach will help you seize the reins of your life to start expressing your “true self” being proud of all your strengths point and not complaining about your weaknesses.

 

1) Working environment

Do you have any issues in your work environment?
Do you feel undervalued, underpaid or being exploited?
Would you like to prove your worth, ask for a raise or perhaps start up your own business?

All you need to turn your dreams into reality is just the determination and the guts to give voice to your ideas. In fact, all you have to do is learn how to project your voice to give an opportunity to the people around you, your colleagues, your boss or your subordinates, to recognize how much you are precious and unique and how much you can contribute. 

Contact now Mylena Vocal Coach for a personal voice assessment session and she will outline your voice profile in few minutes! You can book your first session online using the booking system or using our app!

 

2) Relationship environment

Do you experience difficulties when relating to other people?
Do you have problems gaining new friends?
Are you incapable to establish a lasting romantic relationship?
Do you find yourself frequently fighting with your partner?

Very often the difference between who is able to establish new relationships and who fails is not to be sought in physical appearance, economic wealth or success, but in the ability to interact with others with your voice, to express the beautiful person that you are keeping hidden within yourself.

If in your childhood you had learned some bad communication behaviors in family, at school or on television, it’s not too late to remove them!

You can learn how to communicate effectively using the Inborn Voice method and the invaluable help of Mylena Vocal Coach. Everyone can start new relationships or maintain the present ones, without struggles, misunderstandings or fights.

Interpersonal communication, as a twosome, whether it’s a friendship or sentimental one, is mainly focused on how you use your voice! When you don’t feel adequate you often tend to be silent or you tend to prevail others, perhaps raising the tone of your voice, wasting precious opportunities.

Attends one of Mylena’s international workshops in Los Angeles, Boston, New York, London, Paris, Milan, and Rome to have a jump start in your voice education. You can book your participation online or using our app!

 

3) Family environment

This one is the most delicate of the three situations because it concerns deep and intimate emotions.

The parent/child relationship is something that evokes strong emotions and as we have seen, they are directly connected with your voice and your soul.

We all are someone’s children and you may still have communication issues with your parents even in elderly age! This is much more frequent than ones may think. When you stop talking, you stop communicating. You can’t express yourself anymore to our loved ones, leaving an empty space that over time will appear to be unbridgeable.

If you now are a parent, even if your desire is to be the best parent ever, you may find yourself facing your child who do not seem to be listening or who take pleasure in ignoring you.

This can be easily avoided. You are simply using your voice the bad way, and you are teaching the same behavior to your child. At this point, you will have understood how important it is for a parent to stop this repeating circle and give their children the opportunity to learn an effective way of communicating, in order to give them an important advantage that will lead them to avoid problems and hardships in the adolescent age and in the subsequent working and sentimental life.

Once you’ve made your way through the Inborn Voice training, as you can witness from the many testimonials, you may completely change your life for better!

You can dig more informations on the Latest Vocal Coaching News section or reading the latest book by Mylena Vocal Coach

The Art of Keeping an Healthy Voice

The Art of Keeping an Healthy Voice

How to make it survive in the Internet jungle

From today you will find in all bookshops, even online, my new eBook titled “The Art of Keeping a Healthy Voice”.

It’s a 100-page eBook that includes much of the experience I’ve gained over the years while working and by receiving dozens and dozens of emails every day with desperate or disillusioned requests for help from people who somehow are no longer able to use their voices in everyday life.

My social commitment has been known for a long time. In addition to the various activities that go unnoticed, I always reply in person to all the emails I receive and I always offer everyone a voice assessment session directly with me. This may seem little, but on the practical side it keeps me very busy.

Based on the emails I receive, it seems that the DIY training and especially the tutorial videos on YouTube are at the basis of many jeopardized voices. Since it would be reckless for me to point out everything as “harmful” or “incompetent”, I preferred to give you a way to figure out by yourself when something is definitely to be avoided and not professional.

In the attempt to “save” at least some of these people in the first place, since the topic of “vocal health” is very important to me, I decided to make this ebook also available free of charge via my website.

I ask you to help me spread it as much as possible through your social networks, your blogs or any other website. The only recommendation is to share the link where to download the eBook and not the eBook itself. Sharing the link means sharing this page:

https://www.inbornvoice.com/us/art-of-keeping-a-healthy-voice.html

and not its content, because the book is protected by copyright and sharing the PDF would cause you unnecessary problems.

Here is where you can download the free eBook “The Art of Keeping a Healthy Voice” by Mylena Vocal Coach.

The eBook includes my 5 golden rules, 28 practical tips and 25 testimonials so that you can understand the magnitude of the problem.

For those who prefer paper or use a Kindle device, I asked the publisher to release it at a very low price, so you’ll find it really cheap.

Mylena Vocal Coach Interviewed by women’s magazine “Donna Moderna”

Mylena Vocal Coach Interviewed by women’s magazine “Donna Moderna”

This week Mylena Vocal Coach appears in the weekly magazine Donna Moderna, interviewed by Alessia Sironi. The questions asked are all very interesting, also in anticipation of the upcoming Valentine’s Day, and aim to get valid suggestions for women readers.

You will find in the article:

  • 5 breathing exercises
  • how to improve your self-esteem
  • how to showcase a more feminine and sensual voice

Here is the link to the original content