Active Listening: The Key to Building Trust and Lasting Relationships

If you have already read anything about the Inborn Voice method and why it is so effective and revolutionary, you have undoubtedly had a chance to understand how knowing how to listen is a skill, a “soft skill,” that is fundamental to establishing a relationship of mutual trust. Trust is the backbone at the base of any serious and deep bond, whether it be business, friendship or romantic.

Yet you may have paused more than once to think about how most of the people you meet seem to be more interested in waiting until you have finished talking to share their point of view with you. It almost seems as if while you are talking, rather than actually listening to what is being said, they are actually already preparing the answer to give. This communication style is such an ingrained habit in modern society that it has practically become a conditioned reflex: people want to pour out their opinion on you even when it is not even required. The great thing is that they don’t do this because they care about you or what you have told them, but only because they are so caught up in their own world and life that they are no longer even able to listen. You probably suffer from this compulsive behavior yourself, but don’t worry.

In fact, here at Inborn Voice we do all-around voice training, which includes teaching you how to actually listen to what is being said and also how to make sure you are heard by others when communicating. Each person has his or her own way of learning, there is no universal technique that fits everyone, which is precisely why each of our coaching interventions starts with an initial voice assessment session.

How to learn to listen

You can also begin to experience the power of active listening on your own by following a simple rule of common sense. Start by taking some time, a few seconds, the time it takes to pause and think about the words and emotions you have just heard. Try to remember the words, curbing as much as possible the instinct to give an immediate response. This little ploy will show others that you were really paying attention to what you were hearing. By losing the habit of interacting with the other party as soon as there is silence, magically you will be able to really listen to his or her entire speech, not just the incipit, so that you can sincerely consider their point of view.

The beauty of this “contrived” approach is that, although at first it will only be a pretense, if you do it methodically, it will change your life. You will notice that when you leave room for reflection, the dynamic of the conversation will completely change. Suddenly, there is no longer a simple exchange of words, but a real exchange of ideas and feelings-a true interpersonal communication! It is a clear invitation to share more, to go deeper into the topic being talked about.

How to improve your own active listening

You will not have to limit your attention to dwelling on words, which as you well know are just empty containers. Gradually you will also begin to pay more attention to what is referred to as the set of nonverbal signals. Try to place more of your attention on the perception of the emotions that the Inborn Voice conveys. Especially your own emotions: those that are elicited while listening to the other person’s Inborn Voice and those that you will convey while responding. Avoid paying too much attention to superficial things such as posture, facial expressions or tone of voice: these ideas are a legacy of old and mostly superficial teachings. When you succeed, it will be like unlocking a new level of understanding.

Succeeding on your own is possible, but it is definitely easier if you are accompanied on the path by an Inborn Voice Coach. And you know what the best thing is? Not only will you transform your communication skills, becoming brighter and more interesting in the eyes of strangers, but you will be able to become a better friend, a better colleague, a better boss, a better partner, in short, a better human being. And not only that, because if you are a parent, or will become one, this is one of those things that can change the lives of the new generation. It may be just a small change in the grand scheme of things, but here at Inborn Voice we really believe it can make a world of difference. It is about shifting the focus from ourselves to others, from reaction to reflection. And who knows? Maybe if we all took a little more time to really listen, the world would be a more empathetic and understanding place.