Helping those who won’t listen: voice, fire and awakening

More and more often I meet people who have an incurable desire to help others and are themselves looking for help. In the ancient tradition there are many parables that tell of this paradox. I really like to adapt to the modern era the one that tells of a father who on returning home smells smoke. Thanks to the subtle, pungent smell he immediately understands the danger of a fire. Inside the house were his children intent on playing, completely absorbed in their imaginary world, who had not noticed anything and were smiling at the screen of their devices.

The father, wanting to help his children, called out to them with strength and desperation, screaming at the top of his lungs. But no one came out. The children were too concentrated in their virtual routine, immersed in the fiction that had taken the place of reality. The father saw that shouting “fire” was not enough, so he devised a deception to save them at any cost. He needed to get their attention with something important to them. So he called them again, inviting them to come and see the beautiful toys he had brought them: just go out and get them.

Clearly the children went out. Not because they sensed danger, but out of curiosity. Once outside, the children fully understood the narrow escape from danger, but only for a short time. Not only did they immediately return to devoting their attention to their games, but they demanded from their father the new games he had promised to get them outside.

This teaching is traditionally seen as an invitation to put yourself on the emotional plane of those who do not want to listen to you, but even this is a deception. There is none so deaf as those who do not want to hear. How often can you be there to save a person who won’t listen to you?

This story, which might seem only metaphorical, is actually the everyday life of many people. Every day I meet people who live in slowly burning houses. They are not obvious flames, but they are constant sensations: tiredness in speaking, struggle to express themselves, tension whenever something important needs to be said. Their Inborn Voice is there, trapped in habits, automatisms, roles they have been repeating for years. They do not realize that that voice, once alive and free, is now just an echo. The first step to setting their voice free is what the story does not tell, and it is so simple: the will to want to do it!

Those who come to me often do so like the children in the parable: they are attracted to something they understand to be useful, concrete, and immediate. They want to improve their public speaking, overcome shyness, communicate with more impact. I listen, I welcome, I don’t judge. But I know that is only the beginning. Like the father of the story, I use words that can be understood, promises that can intrigue. But I do not lie: I simply speak the language of those who do not yet notice the flames and whose lives are in danger. I know perfectly well that if there is no awareness, if there is no real awakening, the change will not last and the claims will begin. Anyone can learn to use his voice to sound confident, but if he remains fragile inside, sooner or later everything will collapse. People will go back to playing in the old patterns, hiding behind the same phrases, speaking out of duty and not out of truth. And then the house will continue to burn. Perhaps more slowly, but certainly more quietly.

The Inborn Voice method was born out of this realization: that no change is real unless it starts from within. I don’t just teach how to speak better. I teach how to hear one’s own voice for the first time. The one that doesn’t need to be modulated to please, or altered to sound louder. The one that vibrates with who you are, not what you really want to show the world.

When someone stops asking “how should I do it?” and starts asking “what do I really want to communicate to others?” then the journey really begins. Only at that point do the flames become visible. Sometimes they are even scary, but one can no longer remain hidden inside. You begin to choose to stay outside, to build a new voice, a new home.

My job is not to give you a new voice, but to bring you back to it. It is not to build something new, but to release what has always been there. And when your voice finally comes out, authentic, alive, present, you no longer need to pretend or promise. You have found your truth again. You have found yourself again. And you know you will never go back. Because now, every word you say, is yours. And yours alone.